Disney by the Numbers: The Magic Kingdom

I visited Disney World for the first time over the holidays and decided to do a little amateur data gathering. Not about crowd size or ride capacity or anything substantive like that–no, as with everything I do, the study veered sharply toward the stupid. Here are the categories I investigated:

  • Kids: Worst Kid, Best Kid, Crying Kids, Kids on Leashes, Oldest Kid in a Stroller, Most Kids in a Single Stroller, Kids in Princess Costumes
  • Adults: Adults Having Tantrums, Overdressed Adults, Most Adults on a Single Mobility Scooter, Adult on a Mobility Scooter Who Very Clearly Does Not Need a Mobility Scooter
  • Miscellaneous: Minions Shirts, Christian Shirts, Matching Family Shirts, Stupid Shirts, Funniest Thing Overheard

And here are the results for The Magic Kingdom:

Worst Kid: Kid inexplicably holding toy lightsaber at groin level so it looked like a glowing red wang
Best Kid: Kid inexplicably holding toy lightsaber at groin level so it looked like a glowing red wang
Crying Kids: 8
Kids on Leashes: 3 (the parents try to camouflage the leashes as little stuffed-animal backpacks, but they’re not fooling anyone)
Oldest Kid in a Stroller: 9 years old
Most Kids in a Single Stroller: 3
Kids in Princess Costumes: 39

tantrum child

Most Adults on a Single Mobility Scooter: 2
Adult on a Mobility Scooter Who Very Clearly Does Not Need a Mobility Scooter: a woman standing casually with her leg propped up on the scooter in a Captain Morgan pose

Minions Shirts: 4
Matching Family Shirts: 24 (God help me)
Stupid Shirts: “There’s No ‘We’ in Peace”–I still can’t figure out what that means. Also a shirt meant to read “I Heart Jeep,” but with a picture of a Jeep in place of the heart so that it read “I Jeep Jeep”…?

I jeep jeep, I heart jeep

How much Jeep would a Jeep Jeep jeep if a Jeep Jeep could jeep Jeep?

 

 

 

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