Ah, Value World. It’s like a garage sale without the garage. Salvation Army without any standards. Your crazy Uncle Leroy’s attic without the decomposing corpse smell. Though I am a Value World devotee (my family has been shopping there since I was in pre-school), even I have to admit that it’s a bizarre establishment.
That includes the book section.
This “hard-hitting” religious pamphlet was with the magazines. So which side do the authors come down on when it comes to a faith shared by hundreds of millions of people? In case you couldn’t tell from the explosion behind the word “ISLAM,” I’ll give you a hint: it’s the bigoted and grossly reductive one!
Well, at least the title strips away the facade presented by the smiling woman on the cover. To be honest, I’m really fed up with books about parents dying, and I’m not sure a super self-referential title is going to change that. Still, props for originality. Well done, book.
Now you, too, can own The Quran, The Giver, and Roald Dahl’s The Witches all in one convenient bundle! If you can get the packing tape off without shredding them to pieces, that is.
Join Captain Nemo and his young wards (child slaves?) as they battle against some really abashed-looking sharks (the one on the right looks like it’s apologizing for tooting.) But wait! Before you dive into the magical world of Nemo, take a look at his picture on the back of the box.
Ah, yes, Captain Nemo, just as Jules Verne described him: Caucasian, towheaded, and wearing a blindingly white turtleneck.
BONUS: The Most Patriotic Truck in the World
My husband and I encountered this beast on the way home from Value World. If you find the man who owns this truck, you will have found a man with more patriotism (or dedication to extremely ironic vehicle detailing) than sense.
Look, dudes, I’m as relieved that we won the World Wars as the next guy–but it was quite a while ago. Surely the time for gloating has passed?
Undefeated in World Wars I & 2, true. But there was this silly incident a bit later–rhymes with Schmietnam?
My sources confirm that this is indeed a picture of Jack Bauer from 24. And…there’s nothing I can say that’ll top that. Good night, folks!